Let's Record the Sound of Stabbing Guinea Pigs for Thirty Seconds: That's Hardcore by Kasey Rogers

*Editor's note: This young lady is a very respectful student and is very quiet in class. I feel that you should know this to get the full breadth of how strange this essay was. Enjoy!

Hardcore music is brainless. There is an obscene amount of profanity!! But I didn't hear any of it. I wonder if it was because they were screaming the words (if they were words) at me continuously in a stoned-drunken-stumble-around-fall-on-your-tail-tripping-over-invisible-objects-fashion.

I didn't know hardcore music until Music Appreciation. However, I think hardcorists think they are the most intimidating and powerful people on the earth because they can SCREAM THE F WORD!! I know I feel pretty powerful most of the time (at least I feel that way when I throw people) and the f word is not screamed daily in my awesome vocabulary.

Hardcore music would make it if there were no vocalists or words.

Nake City's "Batman" made me want to rip my hair out and scream uncontrollably (a.k.a. it was incredibly annoying). With all respect to Batman: screaming girls may turn you on but the song sounded like small children with bloodshot eyes, high off sugar, holding kitchen knives stabbing obese red eyed guinea pigs.

AFI's "3 Reasons"
Shark Attack "Accept Yourself"
Embrace "Give Me Back"
I have no opinion on these songs because all I heard was thirty second intervals of screaming nothingness. That's all there is to it. (YES! We are having Papa John's for dinner! That means breadsticks with garlic sauce!!)

I haven't expressed my hate for hardcore music until now. I usually daydream during the hardcore songs in class. About happy things that make me chuckle. (OMG! My niece just pulled herself into standing up position on my bed and turned around, drops to the floor and face plants into my dresser drawer under my bed. Is it weird that she looked at me with a huge red mark on her face and smiled? Now she is totally the most powerful and amazing niece ever, but she is not hardcore.)

Aside from my total disgust for hardcore, I want to congratulate all hardcorists for the talent of playing really fast. (Because that will get your places...NOT!)

Please don't murder anymore guinea pigs.