The journey through Mt. Rapmore concludes:
The simple undeniable truth is that, in your discussion of possible Rushmore Part 2 candidates, you forgot the man who literally saved the nation twice-- and did it with Polio. Ladies and gentlemen, the true fourth member of Mount Rushmore should be....
F....D.....R
The depression and WW II went through him. The basis of Big Government programs including Social Security started with him. They had to make a rule after his tenure as president that you could only have two terms. Oh yeah, this guy was the man. He was it. He should be considered higher than Washington and maybe even Lincoln, but because he lived in the modern age and his wife was so butt ugly people don't give him very many legend props. He gets plenty of props, but not legend props.
And this is where the appropriate replacement to Rapmore comes in:
FDR=Dr. Dre
Heck they are even the same number of syllables (3). It just fits. Dre did so much groundwork on so many levels in multiple decades, just like FDR. This comparison does not work quite as well as Tupac and Lincoln, but its close enough. Dre spent most of his time saving the rap nation from a chair (Oh yeah I went there again-- FDR doesn't get enough credit for being the man he was and not being able to walk. Did you see what John Locke (from the show LOST) was like when he lost the use of his legs [oh yeah I went there too]?? He was worthless. FDR got up everyday with that ugly wife of his and made decisions (Also I think it is important that we have all the men from the three great wars represented: Washington and the Revolution, Lincoln and the Civil War, FDR and World War II). Anyway Dre was a behind-the-scenes decision maker and that is the most important part. But he was no rap slouch either.
Another important thing about Dr. Dre that doesn't relate to FDR very much but is still key is the fact that he pretty much owns most of rap. Two of my original Rapmore members had direct ties to Dre, and one of them (Eminem) was discovered by him. To discover people as important to rap as Snoop Dog and Eminem and put out two of the best rap albums of all time (The Chronic, and The Chronic 2000-- he is such a Bad A. he didn't even need to retitle it) is an amazing feat. Dre is the man and deserves the spot over Eminem just like FDR should replace Teddy.
To put an end to this, let me just give you a few honorable mentions and a few Rapmore and Rushmore Part 2's:
Mount Rushmore Pt. 2
Ronald Regan
Bill Clinton
JFK
Barrak Obama
--That's right. I am predicting the future. Barring the truly real possibility that Obama is going to purposefully ruin the country and just talks a good game, I hope and think he will be listed as one of the greats. I honestly do. Though I disagree with most of what Regan did, he totally counts for sure. JFK is here for mystique only (give me one actual good thing he did for the country, just one). And Bill Clinton gave this nation the most harmony in a long time. And he was even kind enough to give us an intriguing controversy (I will probably never smoke cigars) because he knew the USA thrives on crap they can gossip about; I seriously halfway think he had "sexual relations" on purpose and got caught on purpose. I really don't think I am kidding, but I might be kidding. It depends on what part I am kidding about and what part I am being serious about.
Mount Rapmore Pt. 2
Jay-Z
Biggie Smalls
Q-Tip
Common
--I thought about throwing Diddy in here just to see what my colleagues would say, but I didn't want to sound as dumb as my good buddy Nate. Sean Combs is No. 1 on my list for Mount Made-for-TV- Moviemore. The fact is that Biggie Smalls would have been one of the greats if he had lived longer. But there is a more important reason you can't put him on Rapmore 1, and that is Diddy. First of all Puffmunch killed Biggie, but more importantly he killed Biggie's freedom. I have a couple of B.I.G. tracks where he guests with other guys oustide of the Bad Boy community and he is INCREDIBLE. Where was this on Big Pappa? That song is boring. Just because he is a big guy doesn't mean he can't rap fast.
Anyway, Jay-Z is here because I don't see what all the fuss is about but everyone else does (like Regan). Notorious gave us some controversy. Q-Tip doesn't get enough props for A Tribe Called Quest but he was a really intriguing choice here because I see JFK flattening out like this if he wasn't shot.
And Common is the future. He really is. What did you call it Nick? Backpack hip-hop? I'm all in.
Here are a couple other interesting comparisons:
Warren G= Warren G. Harding
Yep I went there too. I am everywhere.
Kanye West=Benjamin Franklin
I like this because Kanye will never be thought of as a great rapper. I don't even know if he should be thought of as a rapper at all. But he does have a renaissance man quality to him (just one solid guest spot in a Spike Lee joint ought to certify it) which reminds me of America's greatest Renaissance man. Ben Franklin. He is America's greatest president without ever being one. Our greatest spokesperson. Our most outspoken thinker. Give it to Kanye. He needs more time to build up more history, but I think he will be the most important man in rap for a long time without even being a rapper. He may be the most important man in music period (although I was glad he got the shaft on album of the year by none other than the greatest Renaissance man in the history of jazz-- Herbie Hancock [thus certifying that Herbie is a greater renaissance jazzer than Miles Davis, which is huge! Why isn't anyone talking about this?! The biggest adjustment in the history of jazz discussion happened less than three weeks ago with a whole bunch of friggin Joni Mitchell songs. That is why jazz is dead. Even when it wins no one cares--which is kind of like the San Antonio Spurs. Ok my tangents have gone bonkers, but it leads me to my coolest and weirdest equal sign answer ever:
The San Antonio Spurs=Herbie Hancock=Kanye West=Benjamin Franklin
Enough broken logic to keep you going till Rapture.
--QA
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